Death Does Not Mean Defeat

I'm reading this fabulous book right now (for the second time) that I am LOVING. It's by Lysa TerKeurst, called What Happens When Women Walk in Faith. It's one that's really great to do in a group setting because every chapter ends with topics for discussion or questions. I've made notes in my book {this is why I'm reading a second time...the first time I kind of skipped the "hard" work of the life application} along the way. I've written out the prayers that she instructs me to write. I've really dug in this time. I've really tried to apply this time, instead of just read. And, wouldn't ya know it, I'm getting so much more out of it this time around.

At the end of my reading today, in the chapter "Death Doesn't Mean Defeat", one of the things to do is share a time when I can look back and definitely see God at work, but at the time wondered if He had forgotten me. It says to share it with my group I'm doing the book with or with friends. Well, FRIENDS, because I've committed to doing the hard work this time, I'm sharing my story with you.

In the winter of 2002 I found myself in a place I never thought I would be. I was raised in a Christian home, with Christian teaching, at church every time the doors were open and a generally good kid. But in 2002, at the age of 23, everything I thought I knew about God and about myself was completely turned on its ear.

For two years I had been dating this guy. We were serious, but were struggling to make a long distance relationship work, yet still talked marriage and had plans for the future. We planned trips around holidays to spend time together. And a couple of months after one of those holiday trips, in January of 2002, I found out I was pregnant. Initially, my concerns were of what people would think of me, how people would react, how disappointed my family might be. But those concerns quickly faded to the background when this person I had made lifelong plans with decided being a father didn't fit in his life.

Now, not only was I unmarried and pregnant, I was single. I was scared. I was fully uncertain as to what my future held. And I was alone. I had yet to share my secret with anyone. So now I was going from, "Hey, I know this isn't what you expected, but we're having a baby" to "Hey, so I'm pregnant and single. He's not in the picture anymore". And that made the weight of it so much heavier. I wasn't just pregnant. I was single.

And I didn't see God anywhere.

I begged for peace and freedom from fear. I begged for God to just consume me and cover me. But for a while felt nothing. I finally had to get out from under the weight of my secret and told one of my dearest friends. He listened without judgement and promised to pray me through it. For the first time, the weight began to lift. Shortly after that, I told my parents, then my grandparents. All who reacted with more grace than I could have ever imagined possible. And the weight lifted a little more.

Slowly but surely I shared my news with friends and family. And the more I shared, the more excited I became about this baby growing inside of me. And the more I prayed, the more I pressed in, the more committed everything in my life to raising the child the way God wanted me to, the more I began to sense Him. In the midst of the absolute toughest road I had walked in my life, I found God.

I found Him in the most real, most personal way. I had seen God my entire life. And I knew Him. But not in a deep, personal, profound way. And at the end of that journey, God gave me the gift that literally saved my future...my precious son.

There were times early on that I literally felt as if God had forgotten me. That He had moved on and left me to handle this alone. There were times that I felt that the "death" of the me before my son was my end, how I would be defined for the rest of my life. But I wasn't defeated.

Fast forward 11 years and I still look back and see ways that God was so ever present that I hadn't realized before. Death in my journey then, didn't mean defeat. It actually meant the complete opposite. It meant new life.

If you're in a place in your journey where you feel there's death, it doesn't mean defeat. IT DOESN'T MEAN DEFEAT. God is ever present. Death does not mean defeat.

Be Still, It's War

Have you ever really read the story of the Rea Sea? There's some great stuff there that gets overlooked because of the miracle of the Red Sea parting.  Yes, that's amazing, crazy, unbelievable.  But I think that story in Exodus chapter 14 has so much more to teach us!

The Israelites had escaped Egypt.  God was leading them through the wilderness.  Then He took Moses aside and told him to turn the people around, go back a bit, and make camp.  But here's the kicker.  God tells Moses that he will cause Pharaoh's heart to become stubborn and cause Pharaoh to change his mind about letting the Israelites go.  And He will cause Pharaoh to gather the army to chase after the Israelites in attempt to bring them back to captivity.  But then God tells Moses that He'll use the impending army attack for His glory.

Here's the thing.  Only Moses got that word.  The Israelites didn't.  So when they saw Pharaoh's army closing in and nothing but ocean in front of them they panicked.  Kind of like we do when we feel life closing in on us.  We've taken steps of faith that appear to be leading no where.  Our health has come under attack.  Our finances have come under attack.  Our relationships have come under attack.  But we know we're right where God led us to.  We're right where God has called us to be.

As the Israelites panicked, Moses looked at them and said, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." This had to seem CRAZY to the Israelites as they saw the Egyptian army closing in, but reluctantly they obeyed.  And God fought the battle.  He parted the Red Sea, delivered them and destroyed the Egyptian army.  And used the victory for His glory.  Just like He promised.

As you sit in that wilderness that God is leading you through and see you see the enemy's army (in whatever form that is for you) closing in, remember that God led you to this place.  He may have even caused this seemingly imminent attack.  At the very least, He's allowed it to happen.  But God knows what you don't.  He knows that soon your Red Sea will be parted and the attack that was meant to destroy you will bring Him glory and build your faith immeasurably.  Know that God has a plan.  Know that God has a path.  Know that God know what you need to walk down that path.  And know that when attack closes in, all you have to do is be still.  God will fight the battle for you.

The "C" Word

What is it about the "c" word that is so often so difficult to embrace? Whether it be in our family, in our work, in our geography or in our relationships, the "c" word can bring such anxiety.  So what is it about this 6 letter word that causes so much resistance?

I think the hardest part of CHANGE is knowing in your spirit that it's coming but not knowing what it is or what it means for your life.  That period where you feel God working, you know something is coming.  And you know deep down that whatever it is, it's BIG.  And you know that when it happens, it's going to rock your world.  And then human nature takes over and it all becomes overwhelming.  Even intimidating.  It becomes easier to sit still than to face the change head on and move towards whatever it is God is calling you to.

Sitting still is the easy thing to do.  It's the comfortable thing to do.  It's the cowardly thing to do.  When God begins to plant seeds of change or when God just flips it all upside down at once, we have to step out.  Sometimes God plants a seed that lets us know that change is coming and slowly leads us down a path that brings the change about and reveals His plan.  Other times, in one earth rocking revelation God shows us what's next.  Either way, we have to resolve to step out.  We have to resolve to embrace the change.  We have to resolve to have the audacious faith (thank you Steven Furtick) to believe that what God has called us to, He will lead us through.

I don't know what changes you face right now.  But I know that if God is ordaining change in your life right now, blessing follows obedience.  I know that if you take that first step into the unknown, He's already taken the second to prepare the path.  Change is painful.  Change is difficult.  Change brings growth.  Change is the path to blessing.