"I feel like Job"

Have you ever been in a season of life where you feel like the Bible person you most relate to is Job? Like everything that can possibly go wrong is...and there's no relenting to the trials? As I sat talking with a friend yesterday about the most recent trials her family is facing, my heart ached.  In recent months this family has lost their family business in a fire, faced false accusations concerning the fire, faced financial stress, and my friend has had some health issues that are leading her to her an MRI soon.  And the most recent trial they face? Their 1 year-old son is facing a possible diagnosis of epilepsy.

As we talked, she looked at me and said, "Sometimes I feel like Job."  It's a statement I couldn't help but agree with for her.  This has been a season of trials for my friend and her family.  But her next statement had such a great impact on me.  "But I know God is with me.  I'm His child and He'll always take care of me."  Her expression of her faith was such a blessing to me.  It's so easy to say words like that when times are smooth.  Or when we're talking to a friend going through a season of trials.  But to live them out? That's when you find out what your faith is made of.

In this last year, my household has been tremendously blessed.  While we've faced a few trials, we've not seen a "Job season".  But in my immediate family, there have been "Job seasons".  In close friend's lives, there have been "Job seasons" and in extended friendships there have been "Job seasons".  The majority of these family & friends have demonstrated faith that is beyond words.  They have faced their "Job seasons" with strength that is beyond normal and can only be from God.  And they have used what God has allowed in their path to bring glory to Him.  For some, the trials have ended and the testimony of God's faithfulness is being all but shouted from roof tops.  For others, the trials continue...and the testimony of God's strength, provision, peace and faithfulness are being shared through the trial.  For all, the faith that is shared is inspiring.

Are you facing a "Job season"? Are you in a season of trials that seemingly won't relent? Hold on!  God is faithful.  He has a plan and a purpose.  I'll leave you with words from Steven Furtick: "Last year's pressure has a purpose - to produce an anointing for the new year that will make the devil wish he had never bothered you."  Hold fast!  Your anointing is coming!

Give Me Your Eyes

I've always been most moved by music.  A song, a simple song, can heal me, move me, convict me, make me cry, make me laugh, make me dance.  Sometimes one time is all it takes for a song to "get" me.  And then other times I'll hear a hundred times before I listen for the first time.  There's a Brandon Heath song, "Give me Your Eyes", that I really listened to for the first time recently.  And it hit me.  With a punch in the gut and an ache in my heart, it hit me.

I get so busy with life.  So busy with my world and all that's going on in it.  So busy that I almost can't see beyond the end of my own nose.  I get so busy that I don't see the hurt in the cashier's eyes as she rings up my items.  I get so busy that I don't notice the pain on that other parent's face as we sit at the same sports practice.  I get so busy that I don't notice the despair behind the "happy" words in the conversation with a friend.  Or worse yet, I do notice those things, but I'm too busy to take the time to stop.  Stop and see what's on the inside, sometimes even on the outside.

And then I hear a song.  Give me YOUR eyes so I can see.  And not just hear it, but listen to it.  Give me YOUR eyes to see everything I keep missing.  Give me YOUR love for humanity.  Give me YOUR love for the broken hearted, those that are far beyond my reach.

And my heart aches for those that I've overlooked in my busyness.  How many have I been too busy to see? How many times have I failed to see what God wants me to see? How many times have been the person that needed someone to see me? And God sent someone? Too many to count.  What if God were as consumed by busyness as I've become?

Lord, give me YOUR eyes to see the hurt, the pain, the loneliness, the grief, the worry in the faces of those you place in my path.  Help me to not be so consumed with my own busyness that I miss what really matters.  Help me to have your love and your compassion for others.  Help me to see others in daily life the way you see me.  And allow me to be the person you use to make a difference.

Tinkerbell's My Teacher

Have you ever watched a movie that, in no way, is meant to convey a spiritual message, but God hits you over the head with one anyway? That happened to me yesterday.

My 3 year old wanted to watch her Tinkerbell movie yesterday morning while I did laundry, so to occupy her, I popped the DVD in.  As I went about the business of laundry, Tinkerbell played in the background.  As I stopped for a break, something about this movie caught my attention.  See, as a new fairy comes to be, he or she attends a ceremony where their specific fairy gifting is revealed to them.  There are water fairies, wind fairies, animal fairies and more.  In this ceremony, the young fairy stands in a circle surrounded by the symbol of each of the fairy giftings.  The young fairy, Bell, stands and surveys all of the symbols around her.  After a time, a magical mallet finds its way to Bell as she discovers her gifting as a Tinker fairy, hence the name Tinkerbell.

But Tinkerbell quickly loses focus of her gifting, her purpose.  She's caught up in all of the "great" things the other fairies are gifted with and what they get to do.  So much so that she tries to change her fairy gifting to no avail.  After much frustration and many mistakes, Tinkerbell begrudgingly works within her gifting.

This past month or so at church, our series has been "Who Are You?".  Because when you know who you are, you know what to do.  As I watched Tinkerbell, I couldn't help but think she had it easier than a lot of us.  She was told early in life what her calling was, so doing it should have come naturally.  But she struggled with it like so many of us do.

Tinkerbell was so wrapped up envying what everyone else could do, that she completely lost focus of the special, unique and necessary gift that she had.  How often do we do that? We see that person that sings, that person that plays an instrument, that person that speaks or teaches, that person that counsels...the list goes on and on...and we focus more on what we can't do than what God made us to do.  We struggle to "fit" in areas that God didn't make us for, then find ourselves frustrated when we aren't successful.  We wonder why we don't feel fulfilled, yet try to fill places that aren't meant for us.  And maybe we finally, begrudgingly fall into a place that utilizes our gift.

And then it happens.  In the midst of our poor attitudes and unwillingness to embrace who we are, God allows something to happen that causes us to realize our purpose.  Tinkerbell had that moment.  Everything was falling apart.  Spring was not going to come, but Tinkerbell was determined that she could use her unique and necessary gift to save Spring.  And she did.  And she loved it.

When we not only realize our purpose, but fully embrace it, God can use us greatly.  When we realize that our gift, while maybe not the one in the spotlight most often, is unique and necessary, our hearts serve without reservation.  When each of us individually embraces who we are and acts on that, we can change our church.  We can change our community.  We can change the world.

Tinkerbell got to save spring.  We get to save souls.  Know who you are, so you know what to do.  Then DO it.

KNOW and NO

Over this last week, I have had two themes consistently in front of me.  They've come through Sunday messages, devotional time, Bible study and even on the radio.  And today God took them from two separate concepts, "know who you are" and "just say no", to one complete concept: When you know who you are so you know when to say no.

Do you know who you are? Do you know who God has called you to be? Do you know those things, in this season of your life, that are God's best for you? Not the things that are good, or even godly.  But that are God's best for YOU right now? So often we get caught up in trying to be everything to everyone that we forget who we actually are.  We say yes because we know that PTO commitment, that church event, that community service project is a good thing.  And those things are all good.  Those are great things to be committed to, to be a part of.  But is that who you are? Is that where God has placed you? Is that God's best for you right now?

God has a specific plan for your life and who you are right now.  He has a plan and a purpose for this season of your life.  He knows what your current family, career and personal situations are and knows the limits and balance you should have.  He knows where you should serve.  He knows where you should lead.  And he knows when you should say no.

Twice in the last weeks, I've heard"When you know who you are, you know what to do."  Before today that phrase with so much truth had me thinking about the "doing".  Am I serving and leading in the right places? Do I need to "do" more? What do I need to "do" better.  But today, God brought it all together with this one thought: When you KNOW who you are, you KNOW when to say NO.

Sometimes the not doing is more important than the doing.  When you know who you are, you know those places that are good places, but that are someone else's places right now.  When you know who you are, you know what will put life out of balance.  When you know who you are and who God has called you to be, you don't need to do more because the contentment comes in knowing you're doing what's best.

Know who you are.  Know what to do.  Know when to say no.

Traffic Jam

Traffic.  Gridlock.  The stop and go.  The hustle and bustle.  The noise.  The frustration.  The chaos.  The madness.  It can kill the best morning mood and bring a grumpy end to a wonderful day.  And at some point you'll actually have to get in your car and drive...

Sometimes life leaves you feeling like you're stuck in traffic.  Home, work, church, school and community commitments keep us in a perpetual whirl of busyness.  We run here and there until we run ourselves ragged.  We're stretched so thin that our emotions teeter on the brink of either breakdown or explosion.  We live in a constant state of exhaustion, but continue to add commitments.  And then we wonder why we're having trouble hearing God.

In our efforts to be the best spouse, parent, friend, volunteer that we can be, we become consumed by busyness.  But, without really concentrated effort, God's voice is drowned out in the noise.  We live our lives the midst of the traffic, often forgetting there's an exit lane that can bring us rest and renewal.

We become so concerned with being committed to other people's good things, that we lose track of what the best things for us are.  We measure our value (because deep down it's what we think others are doing when they watch us) based on the number of things we can juggle at once while looking our best and wearing our best plastic smile.  All the while, inside we're exhausted wondering why on earth we committed to this.  And forget that God is counting the number of commitments we make to determine our value.  He's looking at how we're serving him.


And all God wants us to do is step out of the traffic.  Step away from the madness and the chaos and fix our eyes on him.  Stop over-committing to everything and starting committing to only those things that are God's best for us.  Take the exit off the busy highway and rest, re-energize, recharge, renew.  Slow down.  Say no.  Step out of the traffic.  Step out of the noise, where his voice is clear.

"Step out of the traffic.  Take a long, loving look at me, you High God, above politics, above everything." Psalm 46:10 MSG

The Nail in Your Wrist

There is a brilliant song on the radio now by a band named Sidewalk Prophets called "You Love Me Anyway"(click the link to hear it).  Every time I hear it, I'm overwhelmingly moved by the words.

As I question God's direction in my life, He loves me anyway.  As I complain about the circumstances I find myself in, He loves me anyway.  When I disobey, He loves me anyway.  When my faith is lacking, He loves me anyway.  But those are the things we know, right? Those are the things where we daily fall short.  So it's easier to believe that He loves me anyway, because those aren't the things that nailed Jesus to the cross...are they?

I think it's so often too easy to see our daily shortcomings as "small" things that we need to deal with, but not see them as significant in the grand scheme of sin.  Could my complacency today have been part of what put Jesus on the cross? Pilate was complacent, unwilling to make a decision, so he turned Jesus over to the angry crowd.  Could my pride today have put him there? The pride of the church leaders of that time couldn't accept Jesus for who he was.  They perceived Him as such a threat that they tried to end His ministry.  Could my greed be a reason he was nailed to the cross? Judas' greed drove him to betray Jesus.

I think, if I'm being honest, I've been the nail in His wrist.  I've been the thorn in His brow.  I've denied him publicly, but then begged for mercy in private.  I've been Judas' kiss.  But in ALL of it, HE LOVES ME ANYWAY.

If you question today if it's still possible for Him to love you, know that He does.  There is NOTHING so big, NOTHING so bad, no place too far.  God loves YOU.  God values YOU.  Run to Him.  Grab on to that love that washes over a multitude of sins.  He loves you anyway.

Virtue...Lacking

Patience is a virtue.  I've heard it my whole life.  And have been impatient my whole life.  Patience is most definitely a virtue that I struggle with daily.  Especially on days that involve a trip to the grocery store...when I'm in a hurry.

On a recent Thursday, in our rush to get out the door, I left my 3 year old's lunch at home.  We were too far from home when she realized her lunch wasn't in the backseat for me to do anything about it.  So I promised I would go to the grocery store before her lunch time and get lunch to her class.  Now, of course, I got out of the office very last minute to run to the store and get her lunch picked up.  With no time to spare and no time for delays, I rushed to the store.

My first encounter upon entering the parking lot was an elderly lady trying to cross from her parking space to the store entrance.  Embarrassingly, I'll admit that normally this would greatly try my patience.  But on this day, that wasn't my first reaction at all.  As I watched her struggle to cross the short distance from her parking space to the front door, I was moved to pray for her.  Specifically to pray that those she deals with on a daily basis would be compassionate towards her and show her patience.

After rushing through the store like a mad woman grabbing what I needed, I got in the shortest of the express checkout lines.  There was a college age student at the front of the line.  As soon as her transaction was completed, she seemed to panic.  Apparently the checker forgot to run a few of her coupons and she was scared that her checking account was going to be overdrawn.  As her plea to the checker to reverse the transaction held up the rest of the "express" lane, I began to pray that her situation would be resolved.  Again, not really a normal reaction.  Shortly after, a manager came over and escorted her to a place where they could take care of her problem.

The next person in line, the gentleman immediately in front of me, checked out.  At this point I've realized that my daughter's lunchtime starts in 1 minute.  And I'm still at the store...waiting to check out.  The gentleman in front of me requested some very specific cigarettes.  The checker got the wrong ones.  The man waiting for them demanded the "right" cigarettes be brought to him.  But there were none in our lane.  Or the next.  Or even the next 2.  Finally, 4 lanes away from us, the "right" cigarettes were found.  And I was able to check out.  The checker was noticeably frazzled.  I quickly (to myself) prayed that his day would improve and headed out of the store.  As I looked at my watch, I knew I was late.  And because she is my offspring, knew that my daughter would have no patience with my being late with her lunch.

I started to think about my "reactions" to my delays at the store.  And admittedly realized that those were not at all normal ways for me to react to those delays.  It was then that I felt God softly speak to me that, through the compassion I chose to have for others that day, my patience increased.  I felt God speak to me that his compassion for us is why he doesn't lose his patience with us.  If I would choose to see situations and circumstances through eyes of compassion, my patience would increase.  And my frustration would decrease.  My 20 minute trip to the grocery store ended up being a lesson that (hopefully) will stick with me for a very long time.  Compassion breeds patience.

And the bonus? When I got to my daughter's class with her lunch (10 minutes late), they were just coming in from the playground.  I wasn't "late" after all!

Prison Worship

When is it easiest for you to worship? When is it easiest to sing the praises of our mighty and faithful God? The first thought that came to your mind was in the hard times, right? Those times where you feel like everything is going wrong and falling apart? Those were the times you thought of first...right? If I'm being honest, before just recently, those wouldn't have been my first thoughts either.

Through a Bible study that I've been a part of the last few weeks, I've gained some new insight into the life, really the attitude, of Paul.  And it's really shifting my way of thinking about worshipping God.  Paul was a mighty man of God.  He was a devoted follower of Jesus.  He overcame a colorful past to be used as a one of the most quoted and inspirational writers of the Bible.  And he was persecuted...a lot.

I've always loved what Paul wrote in Ephesians 3:20-21:

20 God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.21 Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!

But it wasn't until just these last few weeks that I actually realized that he wrote those incredible words in PRISON!  Paul was sitting in a prison cell writing a letter to the people of Ephesus, encouraging them to be strong and not be discouraged.  And proclaiming the greatness and glory of God.

How often do we sit in the "prison" of our problem or situation and question God? How often do we sit in the midst of our trial and question why God hasn't given an answer? Or even just wondered if He's really even there?

My study of Paul, and specifically how he viewed God, taught me something.  Paul didn't just see the vastness of God's ability in the good times.  Paul saw it, maybe even more clearly, in the prison of his trials.  And instead of focusing on the seemingly overwhelming nature of the problem, focused on the absolute ability of God.

So often, as we sit in our prison of despair, we let our mind become consumed with the bigness of our problem.  We see the impossibilities of what's in front of us.  We worship the bigness of our problem over the ability of our God.

Paul had it figured out.  The time that it makes the most sense to pour out lavish worship to our God is the time when we're in our own personal "prison".  The times when we're at the end of our own ability, the times when there's no answer to be found, the times when life is at its darkest.  Those are the times when God is best positioned to make Himself known.  Those are the times that, when the answer comes, there's no choice but to see the greatness of God.  Those are the times when God can stage a comeback of epic proportions on your behalf.

Paul sat in a prison cell and told us that God can do anything.  Anything beyond even our wildest dreams.  Paul was witness to the resurrection.  He knew that nothing, NOTHING was too big for God.  So he worshipped...extravagantly...lavishly...wholeheartedly...from prison.

Out of the Ashes

We have been in a drought.  A drought of devastating proportions in South Texas this summer.  Besides loss of crops, low water levels in lakes, dried up riverbeds and dead vegetation, wildfires have been rampant this summer.  Especially in the last month or so.

There aren't many stretches of interstate that you can drive down that don't show some sign of a recent wildfire.  From black, ashy medians and shoulders, to charred trees and buildings, the affects of the fires can be seen most anywhere.

But last week, it rained.  Not just a drizzle or mist, but a good, heavy rain.  And it rained a few times over the course of several days.  The drought is nowhere near over, but signs of life are returning.

As I was making my daily commute on I-10 in the Hill Country this week, I noticed one stretch of charred land that caught my eye.  Out of the blackness of the ashes left behind from a wildfire, beautiful bright green blades of grass were rising.  Seemingly overnight, that charred stretch of land went from a grim reminder of the harshness of this drought, to a sign of life.  A glimmer of hope that life will be restored to our landscape.

Just like those bright green blades of grass growing through the ashes in the landscape, God brings us out of the ashes.  In the most devastating times of our lives, through the most devastating of circumstances, we rise.  The ashes of our personal mistakes, our family tragedies, our wanderings, our losses - the places where it seems there's just no life left at all.  God rains down and out of those ashes He brings life.  Out of those ashes comes hope, not just for us, but for those who see the life God is bringing. Out of those ashes comes faith.  Faith that, even when all appears dead, God's ability to restore life is greater.  Out of those ashes comes life, abundant life.

The devastation of the ashes is only for a season.  The rain will come.  The ground will renew.  God will restore life...out of the ashes.  "Then the saying will come true: death swallowed by triumphant life." 1 Corinthians 15:54 MSG

Room Service

My kids have never had room service.  So today they will.  They are totally fascinated by the concept of having a menu, that's not JUST pizza, to order from and not having to get out of their pj's.  They love that the food just comes to us, right where we are.

As we talked about room service this morning, I couldn't help but think of how much Room Service is like God.  Not the customizable, pick menu items God that our society has tried to create, but the "meet you where you are" God.  The one that's just a "phone call" away.

When you sit, consumed by hurt, God meets you where you are.  When your stress level is through the roof, God meets you where you are.  When you don't know how ends will meet, God meets you where you are.  When you're running from God and finally decide to stop, God meets you where you are.  When you're consumed by fear, God meets you right where you are.  When the diagnosis or prognosis are overwhelming, God meets you where you are.

I think so often we can forget that God isn't expecting us to start "fixing" it before he intervenes.  All He wants is for us to call on him, RIGHT WHERE WE ARE.  All He wants us to do is call out for help.  He doesn't expect us, or even want us, to try to do it on our own.  We don't have to move.  We just have to pick up the proverbial phone and call!

Where ever you are right now, what ever you're going through, God's desire is to meet you where you are.  Your room service is just a phone call away!

Drowning in the Sea of Forgetfulness

As we drove to church Sunday morning, "East to West" by Casting Crowns (listen here: East to West) played on the radio. I don't know that I've ever really listened to the first line of the song.  I know the words, I've just never really listened.  "Here I am Lord and I'm drowning, in your sea of forgetfulness..."

Have you ever felt like you're drowning in that sea of forgetfulness? That you know God has forgiven you, thrown your sin so far into the deep that even He can't remember, but you're drowning in that same sea? You can't forget, much less believe that you can change.

I think that sea of forgetfulness is sometimes where we get trapped and then convince ourselves we can't change.  And we're right.  Not one of us can change on our own.  Not one of us can rescue ourselves from drowning in that sea.  But through Jesus, we have our rescue.  Through Jesus our change is not only possible, it's promised.  All we have to do is accept that God has forgiven us, take the life preserver Jesus is throwing out and live daily in the promise that He makes all things new.

If you find your self today drowning in the sea of forgetfulness, reach out!  Take hold of the hand of Jesus and begin to walk in the new.  Begin to walk in the promise that God doesn't remember what's at the bottom of that sea and you don't even have to swim in it...much less drown in it.  Leave behind the guilt and walk in the freedom.  Cling to Jesus as He perfects His work in you.

"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day that Jesus Christ appears."  Philippians 1:6

Get Out of My Way

Are you a control freak? Most of the time I would tell you I'm not.  And then the truth reveals itself!  Usually not in the prettiest way.

I found myself there earlier this week.  In my determination to control a situation where I was certain I was right, that truth reared its ugly head.  As I stood in my kitchen and prayed for God to "fix" this situation, I heard Him speak.  And to be honest, they weren't the words I wanted to hear, but they were the words I needed to hear.

I felt God ask me if I trusted Him.  Of course, my knee-jerk reaction was a yes.  But then He asked me again if I trust Him.  So I didn't answer this time.  And that's when God whispered to my spirit.  "If you trust me, why are trying to control this? If you trust me, why aren't you leaving this in my hands to care for? If you trust me, you know that I have your best interest at heart."  Ouch!  That whisper brought me to tears.

As I continued to pray, God continued to speak.  And I didn't really like the truth He spoke to me.  But somehow that truth brought such great peace.  I felt God speak to me that if I would get out of His way, He could be more effective than I could ever be in my human efforts to control this.  If I would get out of His way and allow His will to be done, the outcome would be best.  I don't have to be right.  I just have to let go.  I don't have to have my way, I just have to seek His.  And if I'll just stay out of God's way, the plan He has will unfold...without my help.

God, help me to live what I say I believe.  Help me to TRUST you completely.  Not just in the convenient or easy things.  Not just in the things where we're on the same page.  On the things that I don't have an answer for, on the things that are hard, on the things that I can't see the end of - God, help me in those things to let go, to get out of your way and let you have your way.

"But It's Just Not Fair"

Driving home tonight, my overly tired 8 year old had a meltdown with an over riding theme: "It's just not fair!"  As I sat and tried to reassure him and make him feel better, I realized something.

Over the last week and a half the over riding theme in my head has been: "It's just not fair!"  My mom suffered a pretty serious injury just over a week and a half ago.  She's had 4 surgeries and countless tests in the last week and a half.  Just a month before, she had another injury that required an outpatient surgery.  And over the last few years, she's battled various health issues.  All the while, she's stayed strong in her faith, witnessed to others, served faithfully and helped anyone she could.  Through it all, I would venture to say that very few people have known the battles she's faced.

So over the last week and a half I've felt myself so many times thinking, "It's just not fair!"  I've said it out loud a few times, too.  Why does someone who faithfully serves God and serves others endure so much? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do those who stay happily lukewarm appear to get off so easy? It's just not fair!


As I've battled that thought, especially over the last week and a half, God has reminded me countless times that He never promised the road would be easy, He promised he'd get us through.  He never promised less "bad", He actually tells us that it will probably be harder.  The words of James, while they don't make me like these situations more, give me great perspective and peace:

James 1:2-6 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

When you face those things that aren't "fair", those things that make you question why, those things that push you to your limits, take James's advice.  Cling to the promise that the Father loves to help.  And trust that when this life is done, the reward that waits for the battles waged here will far outweigh the pain of this life.

Welcome Home

This is a week of welcome home's for a few people in my life.  Some pretty special welcome homes!  Yesterday a friend from high school welcomed a precious baby girl into the world.  Tonight a friend from church welcomes her husband home from his time of service in Afghanistan.  And later this week a life-long friend welcomes home her husband (who also happens to be a life-long friend) from his lengthy deployment in Iraq.

As I've seen the joy, the anticipation, the planning that surrounds these homecomings, I feel like God is giving me a tiny glimpse of what He feels like when one of us returns "home".  I've heard most of my life that when someone commits his or her life to Christ for the first time that there is rejoicing in heaven.  And I fully believe that.  A royal celebration takes place up there any time a new soul is redeemed.  A celebration that's come with plenty of anticipation.  A welcome home that is eagerly awaited, like a new parent waits to bring their newborn home.  All of this planning for someone we've never met.  But so worth it because that baby is being welcomed into the family in a big way!

This welcome home that my girlfriends have been planning for their husbands is a little different.  It's a welcome home for someone who was with them, but then left.  There's a different anticipation with that welcome home.  You know who & what you've been missing.  Like when the prodigal son's father heard he was returning.  The celebration for his return was nothing like people in that area had ever seen.

Do you have a welcome home in your future? Maybe you've never come to know who God really is and experience the power of a life lived in Him.  Maybe you've known God and lived the fullness of that life in your past, but your the prodigal right now.  Either way, there is a royal celebration being planned on the other side of heaven at the anticipation of your "welcome home".  Picture the welcome home signs, the friends & family that have gone before and a spread of all of your favorite things.  That's what will happen in heaven upon your welcome home.  And God is there waiting, with arms wide open.

In the mean time, welcome to the world sweet Atlee.  You were born into a pretty spectacular family.  Welcome home Gerald!  Hawaii isn't a bad stop after that big sand box!  And Ben, so proud of you!  So happy Jess & Avery get you back!

Instant

We live in a society where instant is the norm.  We want instant, on demand.  No waiting.  No time to think about it.  Now.  INSTANT.  It's a good thing, right?

But then, in an "instant", an accident happens and your child's life is hanging in the balance.  In an "instant" a doctor gives a prognosis that rattles you to the core.  In an "instant"a job is lost.  In an "instant" a life is lost.  And then suddenly we'd give anything for more time, for things to move slowly.  To have that "instant" back.

In an "instant", all of those things that we were too busy for before are the things that we wish we had done.  All the words we forgot to say are the only words that come to mind.  Everything that we always planned to be as a person, a parent, a friend, but didn't make time for comes flooding in...in an "instant".  And time is all we want.  Time to fix it.  Time to say what we always meant to say.  Time to spend more time.

I have to admit that there have been times that, as my heart hurt and even grieved for something a friend was facing and going through, I've been grateful to have a reminder to be more present.  Be the person I want to be.

But wouldn't it be an amazing thing if we didn't need those reminders? If we just lived our lives, daily, in a way that when the "instant" comes for us, we're not looking back.  We're present.  And looking forward.

God, help us to live in this moment.  Help us to live fully invested in every moment you bless us with.  Help us to remember to say the things we should say, do the things we should do.  Let every day that we have with those that we love be fully lived.  And when an "instant" comes, sustain us.  Cover us in peace.  Consume us in love.  And remind us that You are always fully invested in our "instant".

Eye of the Storm

South Texas is extremely dry this summer.  Like dangerously dry.  For months people in this area have been praying for rain.  Our Governor even had an official day of prayer for rain a little while back.  A couple of nights ago the first measurable rain that we've had in months came through with a bang.  In the middle of the night.  While we were all sleeping.  With massive claps of thunder, bright flashes of lightening, hail, high winds and heavy rain.

As I laid in bed, startled awake by the intensity of the storm, I caught myself thinking, "Thank you, God, for this rain, but did it have to be such a loud storm?" I quickly felt convicted for not just being thankful for the benefit of the rain.  And then it happened.  That still small voice, a little after midnight, decided I needed to learn a lesson.

In life, we face storms.  The rain itself is always cleansing, refreshing, life giving.  But the storm...not so much.  The storm can be so destructive and damaging.  The storm rocks our world and rages on to a point that we can't see the benefit of the rain.  We can so easily lose sight of the fact that our storm, as all storms do, will come to an end.  And when the storm is over, the benefit of the rain can finally be measured.  But the storm is where God works.

It's in the storm that we have the chance to let God do His divine thing.  The natural thing to try to do is work in our flesh to stop the storm in any way possible.  When the reality is, our flesh has no power over this storm.  Our power over the storm comes when we finally accept that we have no control.  We have no power.  But we know the One who does.  Our power over the storm begins the second we acknowledge that running to Jesus is the only way the storm will ever end.  And it's the only way to find peace until the storm passes.

I like Mark's account of Jesus calming the raging sea.  In chapter 34, verses 35-41, he tells of how Jesus & the disciples are on the Sea of Galilee when a sudden, raging storm came upon them.  As Jesus lay sleeping in the stern of the boat, the disciples panicked.  They tried everything on their own to steady the ship and stay afloat.  But they were going down.  At some point the disciples finally decided to wake Jesus.  Isn't that a little bit like us? It's not our first reaction to go to Jesus.  We try on our own first, and after we fail miserably to calm our own storm, we run to Jesus.

I think it's interesting that Jesus slept through the storm.  It didn't disturb Him.  He knew who was in control.  He had no need to wake up because of the storm.  He didn't wake up or intervene until he was asked.  Jesus didn't sleep through the disciples pleas for help.  The cry out for help is what moved Jesus to action.  The crying out for help is what Jesus responded to when he commanded the wind and the waves to subside.  And they did.  Mark says that the wind ran out of breath and the sea became as smooth as glass.

The faith of the disciples grew that day.  Their knowledge of who Jesus really is grew that day.  Their understanding of what the power of Jesus can and wants to do grew that day.  Their boldness to share Jesus grew that day.

If there had never been a storm, Jesus would never have had the opportunity to calm it.  Jesus would have never had the opportunity to speak peace to his disciples in the midst of it.  As you walk through your storm, know that Jesus desires peace for you.  But peace can only come when you recognize your inability and ask Him to act in his ability.  The storm may not calm the second you release control and cry out to Jesus, but your soul will.  Jesus will speak the words that he spoke to the storm and his disciples that day.  "Peace!  Be still!"

It's Complicated - A Facebook Status for Father's Day

As I browsed through Facebook status updates today, Father's Day, I came across a friend's status that I think a lot of us can relate to on this day.  It said, "If Father's Day had to have a Facebook relationship status, mine would definitely be "it's complicated"."

I laughed to myself because, for me, it was a statement that could have been my status for the day.  It could be better, it has been worse...it's just complicated.  What would your status be? Single - you've never had an active father in your life? Divorced - there once was relationship, but now it's severed? In a relationship - things with your dad are good and as they should be?

I think far too many fall in one of the categories where the relationship isn't good, or at least as good as it should be.  When I was younger, Father's Day was a day that I really struggled with.  I would find myself envious of what other people had with their fathers.  I even resented the day.  As I've grown older, and hopefully a little wiser, I've come to realize that good, bad or ugly, my relationship and my experiences with my father have shaped me.  Some of those "shapes" haven't always been too pretty.  And I've had to learn my own lessons from them.

But my Father allows me to take those good, bad & ugly experiences and grow from them.  Learn from them.  Teach from them.  My Father takes what the enemy would love to have used to destroy me, to make me a better mother, a better wife, a better friend.  My Father reminds me that He will never leave or forsake me.  My Father will never let me down.

If you are one of those that is "in a relationship" with your earthly father, count your blessings.  If you are one, like me, who has another "status" with your earthly Father, rest assured, your Heavenly Father seeks to be all of the things and more that you lack in an earthly father.  He seeks to be a Father to the orphaned.  And when he promises to never leave, never cause you pain, never abandon you, He means it.

Psalm 68:5 - Father of orphans, champion of widows, is God in his holy house.

The Disconnect

Have you ever grown so tired that you just have a total disconnect? Not just an I'm-so-sleepy kind of tired, but a complete and total physical, spiritual & emotional tired that is almost painful? On Sunday, I heard a fact about the Psalmist David that I had never heard.  David had about an 18 month period where he grew weary of fighting God's battle.  He decided to make his own way and disconnect from God's work.  He didn't pray, he didn't write.  In fact, for 18 months we had no Psalms from King David.

His disconnect from fighting God's battle didn't stop him from having to fight.  It just became his fight.  At the end of it, he returned home with his men to find his village destroyed and wives & children gone.  Then he cried out to God.

How often have we been there? Maybe it hasn't been a year and a half since we've reached out to God, but it's been a long time since we've really connected with Him, really been intimate with Him.  Or maybe it really has been that long period of time that there's been no communication.

It struck me that David was weary, so he gave up the fight.  But his fight continued.  Just without God.  So often we grow weary.  The path that God has placed before us seems impassable.  The road we're going down has more ups & downs that an amusement park roller coaster.  The journey we're on seems to be through a never ending wilderness.  And we just want to quit.  Disconnect.  Give up.  Walk away.  Stop fighting.  But when we do, we may find rest for a short time, but the fight always continues.

David is someone I so often feel I relate to.  Maybe one of the most "human" of all of the Bible heroes we know about.  He failed often, felt short of the glory, but always returned to his God.  David disconnected in a time of weariness and exhaustion.  And fought a long battle that was likely made more difficult because he had no connection to God in that time.  But he came back.  He reconnected.  And God restored all that was lost plus some.

Are you in a place of disconnect right now? Maybe you've grown weary of the battle that you've been fighting.  You've grown discouraged by the path God is leading you down.  All you want to do right now is quit.  Throw in the towel.  Disconnect.  God wants you to know that sees your battle.  He knows your path has been troubled.  God knows you're weary.  But what he wants most of all right now is for you to connect deeper.  Press in more.  And know that He is God.

I Can Do It By Myself

To say that this day was a challenging day in motherhood is a gross understatement!  I found myself seemingly constantly redirecting & disciplining my 3 year old.  As I sat tonight, completely exhausted from the parenting battles of the day, and watched her attempt to put her pajamas on herself, God taught me a lesson.

She fought and struggled to get her shirt on by herself.  Any offer of help was quickly and animately refused.  Direction and instruction were completely disregarded.  After quite a while of struggle & frustration, she finally got her now-very-stretched-out shirt on.  All the while insisting, "I can do it by my self!"

As I sat trying to convince her that if she'd simply listen to me, this process would be much easier and less frustrating, that still small voice spoke.  You know the one.  It interrupts the pity party of your day and steps on your spiritual toes a bit.

I suddenly got a glimpse of what God must feel like dealing with me and my stubbornness and independence.  I sit and try to do things myself, my way.  All the while, God is giving direction and instruction that I'm just not listening to.  I hear it, just like my daughter did tonight, but I'm not listening.  All the while, God sits patiently by, knowing that I'll probably get my proverbial shirt on, but when I do I'll be exhausted, frustrated and it'll probably be stretched a size bigger.  But if I had simply listened, the process would have been easier, smoother.  And I'd maybe enjoy the outcome a little more!

Proverbs 13:1 says "Intelligent children listen to their parents; foolish children do their own thing."  Today that sounds a little different to me.  Yes, I want my children to listen to me.  But today I hear it as my Heavenly Father talking to His daughter, telling me to listen!  And don't try to do it by my self!

Be Still, It's War

Have you ever really read the story of the Rea Sea? There's some great stuff there that gets overlooked because of the miracle of the Red Sea parting.  Yes, that's amazing, crazy, unbelievable.  But I think that story in Exodus chapter 14 has so much more to teach us!

The Israelites had escaped Egypt.  God was leading them through the wilderness.  Then He took Moses aside and told him to turn the people around, go back a bit, and make camp.  But here's the kicker.  God tells Moses that he will cause Pharaoh's heart to become stubborn and cause Pharaoh to change his mind about letting the Israelites go.  And He will cause Pharaoh to gather the army to chase after the Israelites in attempt to bring them back to captivity.  But then God tells Moses that He'll use the impending army attack for His glory.

Here's the thing.  Only Moses got that word.  The Israelites didn't.  So when they saw Pharaoh's army closing in and nothing but ocean in front of them they panicked.  Kind of like we do when we feel life closing in on us.  We've taken steps of faith that appear to be leading no where.  Our health has come under attack.  Our finances have come under attack.  Our relationships have come under attack.  But we know we're right where God led us to.  We're right where God has called us to be.

As the Israelites panicked, Moses looked at them and said, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." This had to seem CRAZY to the Israelites as they saw the Egyptian army closing in, but reluctantly they obeyed.  And God fought the battle.  He parted the Red Sea, delivered them and destroyed the Egyptian army.  And used the victory for His glory.  Just like He promised.

As you sit in that wilderness that God is leading you through and see you see the enemy's army (in whatever form that is for you) closing in, remember that God led you to this place.  He may have even caused this seemingly imminent attack.  At the very least, He's allowed it to happen.  But God knows what you don't.  He knows that soon your Red Sea will be parted and the attack that was meant to destroy you will bring Him glory and build your faith immeasurably.  Know that God has a plan.  Know that God has a path.  Know that God know what you need to walk down that path.  And know that when attack closes in, all you have to do is be still.  God will fight the battle for you.

Bangles in the Bathroom

This year on my birthday a dear friend gave me a gift of bangle bracelets.  I love these bracelets.  If they remotely match what I'm wearing, they are my first accessory.  Today they matched my shirt so I wore them.  And today they seemed to be in my way all day, most noticeably in the bathroom.  It seemed the most everyday things in the bathroom were made difficult today because of these bracelets.  In the office, in the car, at the ice cream parlor...they just kept getting in the way.  But I never took them off.

Late in the afternoon, I finally took them off and placed them on my dresser.  As I looked at them, I thought of all of the "bangle bracelets" of life that we put on that hold us back.  Things that we put on voluntarily that slow us down and hold us back.  Things that maybe even cripple us, disable us or place us in bondage, whether spiritually, emotionally or physically.  We rearrange them, change how we'd normally do something and are even ok with them causing snags in our lives (like my bracelets snagged my handbag today).  But we don't take them off.  We like the "bangle bracelets" so much that we completely miss they ways that our lives are impaired by them.

As I stood and looked at my beautiful bracelets sitting on my dresser, I wondered how many times in my life I've allowed something that I liked, that I was holding onto, that made me feel good, hold me back from what God had for me.  How many times has God wanted me to take the proverbial bangle bracelets off so that I could move completely in His will? What "bracelets" am I making accommodations for now that God would like me to take off so that I can serve more effectively for Him? What can I shed to run this race most like Jesus did?

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Do you see what this means-all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running-and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.2 Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed-that exhilarating finish in and with God-he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.3 When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"


God, help me everyday to take off the "bracelets" that hold me back from to running this race.  Help me to shed all that takes my focus from you and your plan.  Help me daily to only put on those things that are of you and allow me to show you to others.  Take my "bangle bracelets" and break their hold on me.

Unknown

You know that place when God is planting a seed in your heart, but it's just a seed? The full bloom isn't there, so the path to the end result isn't known.  But the seed prompts your spirit to know that a step into the unknown is coming and is necessary.  That very first step into the unknown is very possibly the scariest step to take in any journey.

When God plants a seed, the only way for us to see it grow and bloom is to take God-directed steps.  Maybe that step is as small as accepting that the unknown is coming.  Maybe the first step is a move.  Maybe the first step is a change.  Maybe that first step is realizing that what we have planned isn't what God has ordained our steps to be.  "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

Whatever it is, the first step is always the hardest one to take.  But it's the most necessary.  It's the one that most demonstrates our faith.  It's the one that most demonstrates our obedience.  It's the one that most demonstrates our desire to walk in God's plan for our lives.

It's usually when we're about to take the first step that fear and doubt creep in.  The enemy attacks, knowing that if we take the steps, his work will get harder.  We question if we're really being directed by God or by self.  We hesitate because the end result isn't visible yet.  Or maybe the end result is what we've seen, but it seems unattainable, like a distant dream.  We so often want to know the whole plan before we take a step, but Scripture tell us, "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" Proverbs 20:24 (NLT)

The unknown is a beautifully unsettling place.  A place where, in our total faith to take a step, we are witness to God holding on to us, giving peace and revealing what's next.  Slowly, but surely allowing the pieces to a puzzle to come together.  With each step into the unknown, we step closer to the full bloom of the planted seed.  With each step into the unknown our faith in God grows.  With each step a new lesson in obedience is learned.  And with the final step, we see life and vision in full bloom.  And we have the ability to help others have the courage to step into their unknown.

A Different Perspective

How do things look from where you are? Overwhelming? Sad? A little scary maybe? Or better than they've looked in a long time? Like you're on top of the world.

Things look different depending on where we are when we see them.  As we walk through "the valley of the shadow of death" things look so dark and so bleak.  All we can see sometimes is the darkness that seemingly consumes us.  It weighs on us so heavily.  All we can see is the pain, the heartache, the grief.

As we continue to walk through the valley, God in His infinite grace and mercy pulls us through.  He guides our steps, makes our paths straight, and we emerge from that dark place.  With a new perspective.

It seems that every time we experience the valley, emerging from it brings fresh perspective to things in life.  A greater appreciation for what we have.  A greater respect for what we've lost.  A greater knowledge of the Word.  A deeper intimacy with our lovingly gracious Abba Father.  A sense of victory knowing that what the enemy intended for evil, God has a plan for.  And a peace to know that next time we face the valley, that the One who brought us through before will faithfully bring us through again.

God as we face the valleys in life, help us to remember your faithfulness through past valleys.  As we face pain, discouragement, grief, loss, confusion, please allow us to recall the victories that you've given us.  Allow us to feel your everlasting arms comforting and carrying us through the valleys.  And bring us again to the new perspective that allows us see our lives a little more as you see them.

Personal Effects

I recently attended a conference where I had the blessed opportunity to hear Joyce Meyer speak.  Near the end of her message, she asked the question, "When your time here is through, what will be your personal effects?"

It's a question that resonated within me then and today has come to the forefront of my mind again.  We usually hear the phrase "personal effects" in some way connected with material possessions.  But when the question was asked by Joyce Meyer, she was referring to our spiritual legacy, what we leave behind when we leave this world.

Very early this morning a great man of God exited this world, defeated cancer and walked straight into the arms of his Healer and Savior.  I began to reflect on his "personal effects" and quickly realized that with all that will be said to honor him over the next days, there are no words that will be sufficient to give weight to his legacy.  His "personal effects" will truly only ever be fully measured on the other side of eternity.  His legacy will continue to shape and inspire countless lives.

As I reflect on his life, I can't help but wonder what my "personal effects" will be.  When I pass from this life to the next, what will I have left behind? When I pass from this life to the next, what will God be able to show me the eternal impact of my life has been? Will I hear, "Well done!" when I stand before my God?

God, help me to live my life in such a way that my "personal effects" are not only felt in this life, but resonate in the next.  Help me follow you with such a passion and devotion that human words can never measure the impact that YOU allowed my life to have on this earth.

The "C" Word

What is it about the "c" word that is so often so difficult to embrace? Whether it be in our family, in our work, in our geography or in our relationships, the "c" word can bring such anxiety.  So what is it about this 6 letter word that causes so much resistance?

I think the hardest part of CHANGE is knowing in your spirit that it's coming but not knowing what it is or what it means for your life.  That period where you feel God working, you know something is coming.  And you know deep down that whatever it is, it's BIG.  And you know that when it happens, it's going to rock your world.  And then human nature takes over and it all becomes overwhelming.  Even intimidating.  It becomes easier to sit still than to face the change head on and move towards whatever it is God is calling you to.

Sitting still is the easy thing to do.  It's the comfortable thing to do.  It's the cowardly thing to do.  When God begins to plant seeds of change or when God just flips it all upside down at once, we have to step out.  Sometimes God plants a seed that lets us know that change is coming and slowly leads us down a path that brings the change about and reveals His plan.  Other times, in one earth rocking revelation God shows us what's next.  Either way, we have to resolve to step out.  We have to resolve to embrace the change.  We have to resolve to have the audacious faith (thank you Steven Furtick) to believe that what God has called us to, He will lead us through.

I don't know what changes you face right now.  But I know that if God is ordaining change in your life right now, blessing follows obedience.  I know that if you take that first step into the unknown, He's already taken the second to prepare the path.  Change is painful.  Change is difficult.  Change brings growth.  Change is the path to blessing.

Hunting Easter

This week many Easter eggs have been stuffed and by the time it's over many Easter egg hunts will have loaded many children with more sugar than most parents would allow over the course of a month.  Children will hunt with great intent to find the most eggs, the prize eggs, the money eggs.  And celebrate their victories with all the enthusiasm they can muster.

But what will we "hunt"? Easter hunts look a little different to me this year.  Not for the kids, but for me.  If we, as adults, "hunted" Jesus the way our kids hunt Easter eggs, how much could God do through us on this one weekend? If we approached our Easter weekend with intent and determination to truly find  Jesus, what could He do in our lives? If we celebrated the prize of finding Jesus with all of the enthusiasm we as adults could muster, how would we change the world around us?

I can't help but believe that we can learn a lesson from our kids.  God is waiting for us to find Him.  God wants us to find him.  And He's not hiding.  He sent His Son.  His Son made the choice to DIE for us.  Then Jesus conquered death, hell and the grave so that we wouldn't have to fight that fight.  We get eternity in heaven simply by following Him.  Yet our kids are hunt Easter eggs with more passion that we walk into our Easter services with.

If we spent just this one Easter weekend hunting Jesus like our kids hunt for eggs, the results would blow us away.  If we determined to do it just this one time, this one time wouldn't be enough.  The results would ignite our passion to hunt Jesus every day with a prize-egg-hunting determination that would change our world.

Why let the kids have all the fun? GO!  Hunt Jesus!

Where There's Death, There's Hope

What's the first thing you think of when you hear the word "resurrection"? For most of us, it's Jesus and Easter or maybe Lazarus.  But do you ever think about resurrection in terms of your life? Your vision? Your dead dreams?

Yes, the resurrection in it's fullness conquers death, hell and the grave and gives us, as Christians, eternal life.  But the resurrection power that raised Jesus lifeless body from the grave has the power to raise those things that have died in our lives.  Have you ever had a vision or dream that seemed to die? Have you ever taken a path in life that you felt took you away from a God given calling?  And now you feel the calling is dead? Have you ever had a relationship that was beyond human repair? It was dead? Where there's death, there's hope.

Jesus didn't die just to secure a place in Heaven for those who choose to follow Him.  He died so that we could have the fullness of life here and now.  He died so that we could experience the power of His resurrection in our everyday lives.  And He rose not only to conquer physical death, but to conquer the death of our hopes, dreams, visions, relationships.

That resurrection power speaks life into our shattered dreams.  That resurrection power speaks life into a vision that no one else sees life in.  That resurrection power not only has the power to restore you to Christ after taking the wrong path, but also has the power to restore a calling.  That resurrection power can bring life to relationships that have been dead for years.  Where there's death, there's hope.

When things "die" in our lives, while we may grieve, we also have the hope that Jesus now has room to resurrect.  When things are dead in our lives, there's nothing we can do.  There's nothing that we can fix.  In death, the only hope we have is in Jesus.

In the areas of your life where's there's death, there is hope.

"If we get included in Christ's sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection.  We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end.  Never again will death have the last word." Romans 6:8-9 (MSG)

Wine, Anyone?

Have you ever thought about the first miracle that Jesus performed? I mean really thought about it.  We all know the story.  Jesus is at a wedding reception and the host runs out of wine.  So Jesus takes water and turns it into wine.  And not just everyday, cheap, wine out of a box, but the best, highest quality wine.  The whole story is in John 2, so if you want to read it, that's where to go.  But I don't want to tell the whole story.  I just want to talk about the miracle.

I don't believe that Jesus ever did anything by chance or without a specific purpose.  So why did Jesus choose turning water into wine at a wedding reception as his first miracle? I mean, after all, this is the man who healed the blind with dirt and spit, stuck his fingers in a deaf man's ears and brought hearing, spoke into a tomb and raised a dead-for-days man from the dead.  Why weren't any of those first? Why was something as seemingly insignificant as wedding wine the first miracle? It's not like Jesus, the Son of God, had to "work up" to something big.  He didn't need to practice a "small" thing or two before moving on to the bigger stuff.

So why? Why wedding wine? Here's what I think.  We don't often in life need the raising-from-the-dead kind of miracle.  Sometimes we need the healing-the-deaf-and-blind kind of miracles.  But most often in life, we need those water-into-wine kind of miracles.  The ones that we ask for in everyday life.  The ones that, if they don't happen, won't have lifelong or life altering effects.  But when they do happen, remind us that Jesus, with all that is lifted to him in prayer, cares about the littlest and most insignificant of our details.

Those water-into-wine kind of miracles are the ones that build our faith, shape our lives and bring us growth.  Those water-into-wine kind of miracles give us tangible things that a skeptical world can find belief in.  Those water-into-wine kind of miracles are the ones that sustain us when we're waiting for the raising-from-the-dead kind of miracle.  Those are the ones that Jesus uses to say, "Be still.  I've got this.  See all of these little things that I've done for you? If I care about those, how much more do I care about this mountain standing in your way? How much more do I care about speaking life into your circumstance? Trust me!"

That story of that first miracle has so much more significance to me now.  Now, when I'm facing the mountain, when the seemingly hopeless circumstance disrupts my life, I think about wine at a wedding.  And I remember that if Jesus cares about that, then my mountain will be moved.

Even if the Mountains Walk Away...

Have you ever felt that the mountains have walked away or the hills have fallen to pieces? Like everything in your life has collapsed around you? Have you ever looked around in the moment of your deepest pain or grief and questioned where God was? Have you walked through something in life that no earthly explanation can satisfy?

In my own personal experience, in this short live I've lived, the loss of my baby Grace at 14 weeks along in my pregnancy is one of those events.  And I've walked through many of them with friends.  Today is no exception.  A dear friend from high school gave birth to a baby girl whom she was only able to hold for hours before that precious baby returned to Jesus.  My flesh questions why.  My flesh wants an answer.  For her and for so many other friends who have experienced loss.  My heart and spirit grieve.

I want words, but words fail.  All I know is that God doesn't.  Senseless, unimaginable pain comes to us in this life.  Pain that there is never any earthly explanation for.  But God, in his mercy, never fails.  God never lets go.  God never leaves.  And somehow, through all of the pain and grief and questions, God brings healing.  God comforts us.  God restores us.  God reminds us that although we don't know the answers, He does.  God reminds us that on the other side of eternity, all things will be made right.  And in that there is peace.

"For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, My love won't walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won't fall apart.  The God who has compassion on you says so." Isaiah 54:10 (the MSG)

God doesn't promise that the mountains won't walk away or that the hills won't fall to pieces.  But he promises that his love will NEVER leave us.  His peace won't fall apart.

God, in the midst of our deepest grief and strongest pain, let us feel your love.  Let your peace consume us.  Guard our minds and hearts against the enemy's attacks as we walk through life's valleys.  Help us to hold onto the hope that on the other side of eternity ALL things are made right and all of life's struggles will be erased.  Bring us your holy comfort until that day that we see your face.

Friendless

Some of the greatest spiritual lessons I've learned in my life have been from my son.  This most recent is no exception.

Friday afternoon our doorbell rang.  That's pretty normal at our house.  We're the grand central station of the neighborhood with kids coming over all the time.  And for the most part, I love it.  Friday was a little different.  We had a busy weekend planned and I was using my Friday afternoon/evening to get stuff done that I would normally take care of on Saturday.  So when the doorbell rang and a child that I've never met before & his mom were standing there, I was a little caught off guard (and pretty stinkin' miffed at my son).  The mom promptly told me that her son brought a note home from Payne inviting him over to our house.

My frustration faded quickly as this mom told me that her 3rd grade son had never been invited to a friend's house before.  She told me how he's always been a little "different" and has never really made friends easily.  I quickly acted as if I knew the plans all along and the boys went off to play.

I watched and listened as they played together.  Besides a speech delay, I could certainly see other signs of the "different" that his mother mentioned.  He was perfectly polite but somewhat socially awkward.  During one of my trips past Payne's room to the laundry room, I heard the boy say, "Payne I've never had a friend like you before.  I've never been invited over somewhere before.  And you play with me at school, too.  I've never had a friend like that."

All at once, my heart broke and swelled with pride.  And felt a great sense of conviction.  I was so heartbroken for this 3rd grade boy that had never really had a good friend.  I was so proud of my son for being a friend.  And I was SO convicted for so often only being a friend when it's convenient.

As I went to fold & hang laundry, the pride in Payne and conviction grew at about the same rate.  As I thought of him living Jesus while being a friend to the friendless, I realized that all to often I'm not.  I think all of us as adults, if we're being honest, don't really step out of our comfort zones of friendship.  We'll be friendly, we'll be cordial, but don't build friendships.  We'll put on a smile, exchange pleasantries but it never goes deeper.  We have a certain "types" of people that we will invest the time of a friendship in and seldom, if ever, step outside of that.

What do we miss out on because of that? I felt God showing me that Payne, in his heart of gold and childhood innocence, really (as much as an 8 year old can) sees people like Jesus does.  He doesn't see what society says isn't normal, isn't cool or is a bit awkward.  He sees a heart.  He sees a person.  He sees someone who, just like all of us, just wants to be loved and accepted as we are.  And he GENUINELY  doesn't see anything different or awkward.

As I stood and cried, proud of my son and humbled by his heart, I began to pray for God to give me that heart in seeing people.  God, help me to see the heart of people.  Help me to look past what looks different, sounds different, acts different and see what you see.  Teach me, Lord, to be a friend to the friendless.  And please, Jesus, never let my son lose that.

Be Still!

Here's a secret.  I don't do "still" very well.  "Still" means that the to-do list isn't being checked off; "still" means that the kids are unattended; "still" means that I'm not catching up on this, that or the other.  "Still", to me, way too often means that things are being left undone that need to be done.  So I don't do "still" very well.

You know how you hear about that "still, small voice"? (There's that "still" word again.) Well, I'm convinced now that the Holy Spirit is the "still, small voice" until God himself has to yell.

Lately I feel like we've been much busier than usual.  There's been a lot more going on, more commitments to tend to, more to get prepared for, so "still" has not been the highest on my priority list.  All the while, I've felt myself falling into a funk that I convinced myself I could sleep myself out of.  But catching up on sleep didn't move the funk.

See, the "still, small voice" has been nudging me to be "still" for a week or so now, but I kept telling it that I would when stuff slowed down.  Today, as I sat across from my favorite Christmas wall hanging (wishing I was in the snow like the big tree in my picture is), I stared at it as calm and peace began to come over me.  Then I looked toward the bottom.  And God yelled.

God yelled at me.  He interrupted my quiet, calm peace and yelled.  The scripture at the bottom of my favorite Christmas wall hanging says "Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10".  As my eyes hit the scripture I didn't "read" it.  I literally felt that God yelled the words to me.  "Be still!"  And it hit me.  My funk has been totally self inflicted.  The Holy Spirit has been trying to sweetly and gently whisper that to me for a week or so now.  But since I wouldn't listen to his "sweetness", my Daddy upstairs had to pull out the "Dad" voice and yell at me.

As I sat still for the first time in way too long - tuning out everything around me, not worrying about unloading the dishwasher, not focusing on getting work done for church, ignoring the laundry - my funk melted away.  God reminded me that amidst all of the crazy, busy stuff in life, He's in control.  He knows right where I am and exactly what I need.  And He loves me way too much to let me go on any longer in my funk, so He raised His "Daddy" voice to lovingly get my attention and remind me to be still. 

Today, and every day, make time (even when you're exhausted, the laundry has piled up, the kids have planned a mutiny, dinner barely qualified as edible and the to-do list is taller than you) to be still.  In the short time that you allow yourself to be still, God will restore more than even the most perfect, Starbucks filled day can give to you.  I'm so glad I was still today.

The Blame Game

"There's no person on earth or devil in hell that can keep you from the greatness God has for you."  Joyce Meyer said this very early on in her message that she delivered at C3 2011.  It's something that has stirred in me since I heard it.  I knew something would grow from it and I knew that God wanted me to see something through it.  And over the last weeks God has gently nudged me towards what that phrase means for me and what I think it means for a lot of us.

Something else Joyce Meyer said is that God has placed greatness in all of us.  It was a nice statement to applaud and say Amen to.  But to believe? But to grab onto and claim as mine? It really wasn't even anything I thought about during her message.  But I have since.  And I've accepted that God has placed greatness in me.  I believe it.  And I believe I haven't even begun to see the fullness of that greatness in me.

But why do we (or maybe just I) have such a hard time believing that? Accepting that? And ACTING on that? It's the first statement that finally answered that for me.  We all go through "stuff" in life.  We all have people that wrong us.  While the difficulty or amount of "stuff" is different for each of us, the bottom line is that we ALL go through it.  As I reflected on Joyce's testimony, I realized the "stuff" she has overcome in her life to achieve her greatness.  She endured things that most of us can't even fathom and she has allowed God to bring greatness through it and in spite of it.

There have been times where I believe that I have caught a glimpse of the greatness that God has for me.  But one thing has always held me still.  My "stuff".  Or probably more accurately, the memories of my "stuff".  At times, when I've been "still", I've found myself blaming people from my past.  If so-and-so had not done this or had done that differently, or if this event hadn't happened...Then my life would be different.  Then I could achieve that greatness.

What I've come to realize is that the greatness that God has in store for me is a part of all that has shaped me.  I've always know that the combined experiences of my life have made me who I am today. Good or bad, they've all brought growth, change, perspective & hopefully some wisdom.  But I've allowed the devil to make me believe that it's taken away or lessened the greatness God has in store for me and through me.  I let myself believe that my chance to experience greatness was missed or lost.  Until now!

Now, I wholeheartedly believe that there is no person in this world that can change or take away the greatness that God has in store for me.  There is no event that take that greatness.  And there is no devil in hell, no matter how hard he tries, that can take away what God has in store for me.  My past does not  take away my greatness.  Past hurts, wrongs, mistakes and trials do not change what God has in store for me.  My God, who knows me to my core, says that he has GREAT plans for me.  He doesn't care about my past.  He sees my future.

I think that's something that a lot of us miss.  We need to hear that God's greatness in us didn't get taken away because of "stuff".  It's there for all of us. God's greatness is in ALL of us.

A Heart Like His...

Wednesdays are by far our most hectic afternoons & evenings.  From the time school is out at 3 it's a mad dash to get places on time.  Yesterday was no different.  Payne came home from school, got his homework done and we quickly left for gymnastics for Miss Addison.  As per our usual Wednesday ritual, we grabbed 2 Lunchables for the kids on the way out the door.  There's no time to "stop" for food between gymnastics and church.

We went to gymnastics and hurried out as soon as it was done so that I could grab my regular Wednesday-evening-pick-me-up cup of coffee and still arrive at church semi-on time.  When we took the exit for the church, we hit the light red.  Immediately I noticed a homeless man in the shoulder.  His eyes were captivating.  He looked so hopeless and my heart hurt for him.  That's not really normal for me, as I'm typically very skeptical of those who hold the homeless signs on the side of the road.

I immediately started trying to figure out what I could give him.  The only cash I had was the gas money to get us home.  I guess Payne could tell I was looking for something because he asked me what I was doing.  I told him that I was trying to find something to give to the homeless man.  My precious son immediately offered up his Lunchable.  I was certain the light would turn, as we had been sitting there for quite some time, but I rolled down the window.

As we were about to call out to him, the truck behind us flagged him over and gave him some money.  Then we grabbed his attention.  Since it was Payne's idea and Payne's Lunchable, I wanted him to be able to give it to the man.

He politely thanked us.  I said, "God bless you."  I don't really ever know what to say in those situations, so that's what I said.  The eternally red light, continued to stay red as the man walked back to the curb.  I guess once he got back to safety he looked at what it was that Payne had given him.  He looked back at our car, with this huge smile on his face and waved his thanks again.  His eyes showed something that wasn't there before.  They had hope.

I guess that's why it wasn't me that helped him.  It was a child.  Giving up his dinner.  I think that was more impactful than me having an extra $10 to hand him.  I couldn't help but think of the story of the child with the loaves of bread & fish in the Bible.  He just gave up his lunch willingly without hesitation so that Jesus could minister.  I felt like that's what Payne did last night.

I think the thing that impressed me the most with Payne was that after he gave his dinner away, he didn't even ask what he would eat.  He was so selfless in what he did, in his generosity.  I love his heart.  God has placed such a wonderful heart for others in my boy.

I did stop and get him dinner and an extra little treat.  But I'm still not sure who got the biggest treat last night. The homeless man or me?

Give Your Best Today and I'll Better Your Best Tomorrow

Confession: I have control issues.  Not all around, just in certain areas.  But that part doesn't really matter, does it?

One of the biggest areas I feel those "issues" in my life is in my work at the church.  I try to control and plan everything so that nothing is left to chance, but what I really do is just try to do it my way and then see things not work out like I'd like.  See, I struggle sometimes with being "qualified" enough to serve in the ministry.  I know that sounds crazy, especially when you look at that band of misfits Jesus brought together to be His chosen 12.  But I know my shortcomings, I know my past.  And so does Satan.  So he uses it all to make me insecure.  Then I feel like I have to be in control to be "best".

Something that I've come to realize is that, while I think I'm doing my "best", I'm really just doing what I think is the next best idea to move the ministry forward.  The reason I say "best" that was is that I'm not stopping a lot of the time to ask God what His best is.  Lately I've come to recognize that about myself and have tried to approach the challenges/obstacles/every day with God's perspective as best I can.  And I've seen really positive results.  But inside my head, I still wrestle with the control.

While at C3 2011 one of the speakers, Judah Smith, said something that spoke so deeply to my control issues: "Give your best today, and I'll better your best tomorrow."  He said it was something God spoke to him at a time when he was struggling a bit with the how's of his ministry.  The irony is that Judah Smith wasn't speaking to control issues when he delivered his message.  But that's where it hit me.  Square in my control issues.

It actually allowed me to release my "control" over the ministry things (and some other areas as well) and just trust that if I seek God and give my best, He'll always come through and walk me to that next place.  I don't have to know what the next step is.  I don't have to know where to go next.  I don't have to know where my God given vision will take me.  I just have to trust that as long as I give my best, God will continue to better my best.

It's amazing the weight that lifts off of my shoulders at that thought.  I don't have to be in control.  God is.  And as long as I allow that, my best will be better tomorrow than it was today.  Not because it's my best, but because it's God's best.  So, give your best today, and allow God to better your best tomorrow!

Words of Wisdom...but not from me!

Our church staff spent Wednesday through Friday at C3 2011 at Fellowship Church in Grapevine.  To say that this conference was impactful is an understatement.  I'm certain that over the next days & weeks a number of blogs will come from what God did in me while I was there.  The easiest one to start with is the words of wisdom that I received from the dynamic speakers that spoke into my life in those 3 days.  The quotes are more just in the order I wrote them down in, not the level of impact they had.  And some may not make a lot of sense when you see them, but you'll probably see a full blog on those anyway!

"God promises to reward good works.  If you're good, they will find you.  Let the game come to you, in God's time." --Ed Young

"Leaders set people up for success." --Ed Young

"The popularity contest ended the day you surrendered your life to Christ.  Now you play for an audience of ONE!" --Ed & Lisa Young

"When pride walks on the stage, God walks off." --Ed Young

"Don't let what God has called you to do distract you from what God has called you to do." --Brian Houston

"Don't get distracted by disappointments.  God didn't say offences might come, He said they will come." --Brian Houston

"No mature Christian who is seasoned in the Word has a defendable excuse to live life offended!" --Brian Houston

"It is in the secrecy of your sin that the devil has his power." --Dr. Robi

"Use the talents & gifts God has given you in a creative way where God has placed you." --Kong Hee

"God knows how to find "the one" no matter the size of the crowd." --Steven Furtick

"The voice of doubt will come loudest from within.  It is my own insecurities that will sabotage what god wants to do in and through me." --Steven Furtick

"Don't be afraid, just believe." --Steven Furtick

"God doesn't see death, he sees the opportunity for resurrection.  God doesn't see defeat, he sees the opportunity for a monumental comeback." --Steven Furtick

"You don't have to fully understand to completely obey." --Steven Furtick

"There is no person on earth or devil on hell that can keep you from the greatness God has for you." --Joyce Meyer

"How my life turns out is not dependent on what others do to me or don't do for me." --Joyce Meyer

"God has put greatness in every one of us." --Joyce Meyer

"Do all you can do and let God do what you cannot do." --Joyce Meyer

"If you can't do anything else, WIGGLE!" --Joyce Meyer (Ok, maybe you had to be there for that one, but it's profound, I promise!)

"What are my personal affects going to be when my time is up?" --Joyce Meyer

"If you wanna see God show up, move to a place of obscurity because that's where God gets all the glory." --Shannon O'dell

"Your story is about to change." --Shannon O'dell

"God wants to do more for you than what you are currently asking for." --Judah Smith

"What your God has prepared for you exceeds even your wildest dreams." --Judah Smith

"Jesus chose drinks at a party to first manifest his glory and you question if he cares about your struggles and concerns?!" --Judah Smith

"Give your best today and I'll better your best tomorrow." --Judah Smith

"If you empty out everything that is inside of you, you will go to unprecedented places." --Bishop TD Jakes

"I can buy a good preacher, but I can't buy a great leader." --Bishop TD Jakes

"Get off the boat where it's safe and step into the unfamiliar." --Bishop TD Jakes

"If all you get [out of this conference] is what we teach, you've been cheated.  If while I'm speaking in generalizations, God has given you specifics, then you have been filled." --Bishop TD Jakes