Faith Made Real

Three years ago our family experienced what was (and honestly still is) our greatest heart break.  A little way through my second trimester of pregnancy, we lost our little girl.  It was a Tuesday.  To say that the days following were difficult is beyond an understatement.  So many questions.  So much pain.  So lost.  So confused.  So much unexplainable peace.  So much comfort for my shattered heart.  So much that needed healing.

As dark as that Tuesday was, God was ever present and I knew it.  As painful as that Tuesday was, I knew that, if I would just let Him, God wanted to heal my pain.  As difficult as this step in my journey was, I knew that God had a plan.

That was a Tuesday.  The following Sunday, as weak and exhausted as I was, there was something in me that just had to get to a worship service that was happening that evening at our church.  A few songs in, Healer began.  That night, standing there singing this very new-to-me song, I began to feel healing.  I began to feel God at work within me.  I knew that this would not be a short or easy process, but I sang that song believing that the words were for me.  That song became my prayer.  It became my resolve.  When the darkness would start to creep back in, I claimed the words of that song, believing in faith that my healing would come.

Fast forward three years.  I don't know when it happened.  I can't point to a specific day, time, event.  But standing in church just short of three years from the loss of our baby girl, we sang this song again.  As I stood and sang this song, I realized something.  That song has gone from being my prayer, to being my testimony.  That song has gone from being what I believed would happen, to what has happened.  In shaken faith, I sang that song three years ago, but today in firm faith I sing that song.  Today in firm faith, I can say He is (as in, has completed the healing) my Healer.

Sometimes our healing is a slow, long, painful process.  Sometimes our faith that healing can even happen is only the size of a mustard seed.  But thankfully that mustard seed is all it takes.  That mustard seed prayer of faith (I believe you are {going to be} my Healer), prayed over and over and over again, slowly grows.  And without even realizing it sometimes, the prayer of faith becomes a testimony.  Your faith is made real.